I finally dragged myself to a new dentist yesterday, something I should have done quite a while ago. I’ve been on my medical plan for over a year now, but I kept putting it off.

The new office seems fairly nice, and the staff are very friendly. The sort of friendly you usually only see when there’s some sick, dark secret lurking behind the scenes. Like Kathy Bates in Misery friendly.

It seems like everyone in town is sick lately, and my dentist had lost his voice. Not enough to stop him talking, but enough to make him sound like Michael Jackson, which would have been creepy even without the nitrous oxide in the room.

It turns out I have a few cavities, and one might need a root canal. Apparently, even though I floss once or twice a day, I suck at it and haven’t been hitting a few spots. He says when I come in for my cleaning, he’s going to have the dental hygienist give me a refresher course in flossing, which is nice and embarrassing. I have visions of sitting in a lineup with several eight year olds, being walked through the steps, in a Billy Madison situation.

Also, I still have all of my wisdom teeth, and the dentist wants to pull out two of them. Maybe I’ll have him pull them all and live off of tofu and ice cream for the rest of my life, avoiding future trips to the dentist altogether.

During the examination, the dentist said, “you have a high pain tolerance - that’s fantastic”. This worries me a little.

I go in for my first appointment next Tuesday. I’ll find out once I’m in the chair whether or not I’ll need the root canal. Hopefully it can be avoided.