I spent a good part of the morning listening to idiot SUV drivers scraping their shiny rims on the curb while trying to park outside my apartment. I lead an exciting life, ladies and gentleman. This is but the tip of the iceberg.

I also spent that time thinking about where I am in life and where I’m going. I haven’t really felt like myself this last month. It’s hard to explain, but I just feel unsatisfied or unfulfilled or…bored, really. I think it has something to do with my current stationary state.

I’ve been living and working in the same place now for nearly a year. I know that doesn’t seem like a big deal, and it’s really not, but this is the longest I’ve stayed still in the last five years. While at university, I was moving and starting new jobs every four to eight months. That may sound horrible to some people, but I had grown to really enjoy it. Every move, or new job, felt like a new chapter. Life always felt fresh and progressive. Since finishing my degree, I feel like I’m just drifting motionless. This is the first point in my life where I haven’t had a sketchy six month goal and a neatly-packaged four year goal. It’s a strange feeling.

Don’t get the wrong idea, my life is actually quite good right now. I really enjoy my job. I work in a fantastic, casual office that embraces creative solutions and produces results without much bureaucratic nonsense. I’ve made good friends here and have a decently active social life. I’m in better shape than I was in high school, which, to be truthful, isn’t really saying much. I have a single apartment in a nice part of town, so I have a calm, cozy place to live. All in all, everything is going quite well.

I just don’t have anything to strive for right now. I’ve met most of the goals I’ve been aiming at for the last decade. I still have career ambitions, and I’m learning a lot in my job, but advancement takes time and experience. Apart from working hard and continuing to learn, there’s nothing I can really do to speed up that process.

I’m not really excited about anything right now, nor am I unhappy with anything; I’m just mildly content. I’m medium, warm, neutral, gray. I’m floating in the middle of the pool, constantly out of arm’s reach of any side. Contentment was never one of my goals. It’s just watered-down joy. It halts momentum - a covered pit on the path to real happiness, and it’s easy to fall in and never get out again.

This contentment has left me in a creative slump. I’m uninspired, as you could probably tell from that manuscript introduction I posted. I’m in a position now to focus on personal projects. The path I was on this last decade was a ride. It was like a playground slide. Once I pushed off, I didn’t have to focus on moving myself forward. It was just a matter of stopping myself from falling over the sides. I guess now I just have to find a new slide and start climbing those steps.